Embrace, Love, and Share

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Growing up my family was not the super affectionate kind. We didn’t say….I love you when leaving, or have to hug and kiss when we encountered each other. We pretty much just assumed that we all knew how the other felt and carried on from there. I didn’t grow up feeling unloved or unattached in any way. I actually felt pretty close to my immediate family growing up. It wasn’t until I became an adult, and started experiencing death that I begin to notice the differences in my families interactions. It was when I experienced loss that I wanted to be closer to those alive. I guess we don’t realize what we have loss until we lose love ones. The missed or avoided hugs, kisses, and I love you’s, all become wishes that will never be met.

That is why now, I have opened up much more emotionally and learned to express my love while I have my love ones here with me. During this this holiday time, many of us will travel to see family members, and some of us will have family come over to visit with us. But, let’s not forget the family that doesn’t come or the family that we may have falling out with in the past. It’s never too late to forgive or just embrace someone that you have limited contact with. It’s also never to late to step outside of your comfort zone and start showing those around you more love and affection.

Our family and friends, are the people who will be able to love us unconditionally. Sure we will argue with each other and disagree, but that doesn’t mean that we love each other any less. Showing each other love creates a memory that will last forever in our minds. It could be the last memory for some and the happiest memory for many. There are times that I feel drained and I will think of a love one smiling at me or them hugging me and immediately feel warmth again. Our lives are emptier without affection. Not being affectionate does not make us stronger. It makes us weak and often means that we’re afraid. Most times we’re afraid to get too close, because we fear the connection. This holiday, be sure to embrace all of your love ones and let everyone know why you are thankful for them!! Let this Holiday season, be full of giving.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Kristina – Kristopher’s Mom

Letting Go Of The Security Blanket

 

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Security blankets can be anything that makes you feel safe, comfortable and secure. It can be people, places and or things. I lost my security blanket when my mother passed away. She was my safe place. It was the worst thing that I’ve ever encountered and it still hurts every single day. Recently I’ve let go of another security blanket, which was my job as a probation officer.

I was at my job for 6 years, which to me is a lifetime since that’s the longest that I’ve ever been at a job. All of my big life events happened while I was there. I got married, had a baby, bought a house and lost my mother. Although it was hard to leave, it was even harder to stay. I was very comfortable there. I had freedom, job security, decent pay and great relationships with my coworkers and supervisor, but I wasn’t happy. I was unfulfilled and I was becoming bitter due to the constant negative environment and the doom and gloom of my clients circumstances. It’s a bad feeling when you see so much despair and feel completely helpless.

I’ve actively looked for jobs for about four years consistently! Yes four years, LOL! I was also very particular my job search. If I was going to give up all of the perks that I had, it had to be worth it. I’ve gone on so many interviews and felt confident that I would get most of the jobs that I’ve interviewed for, LOL. That, however, wasn’t the case and for whatever reason things don’t always go according to our plans. Eventually I understood that it wasn’t my time yet but I refused to give up because I was on a mission so I still looked and applied for jobs almost daily.

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Now my time has come. I’ve started a new career and it’s been an interesting transition. I get up earlier in the morning and my commute is much longer. I don’t have the freedom or the security blanket that I once had. I’m starting from scratch with having to build my leave back up and learn a whole new job. I’ll be the first to tell you that change is scary and hard and sometimes it hurts! One of my favorite quotes is “change cannot occur until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change “(author unknown). I wholeheartedly agree with this. Although I’m completely out of my comfort zone, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. We all have our own paths in front of us, but I encourage you to let go of whatever is no longer serving you, be it so-called friends, associates, jobs or negative situations. Also, don’t let fear hold you back from doing what you need to do for you and yours! If fear is no longer a factor then the possibilities are endless. You can choose to live in fear and let it hold you back, or you can learn to let go, take risks, and follow a better path.

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“If it doesn’t scare the Sh** out of you then don’t do it” (Author unknown)

~Kristle (a Fearless Mommy)

Motivational Monday – Growing Into You

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A wise man will hear and increase in , And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel
Proverbs 1:5

Each and everyday, we are all growing into something new. It’s an absolute inevitable fact. There is not one living thing in this world that stays the same. We all process through the growth cycle one way or the other. The big question is if we are becoming someone better? Wanting to become a better version of ourselves, doesn’t mean that we were less than or bad in our past, just that we have grown in our future. However, to grow in our future, we have to be acceptant of who we were and who we are. Our past molds us. It shapes our character through our experiences, and builds strength in us to face the trials that may occur in our future. The person we are in the present, is the person we have learned to love and proudly be daily. Who we are currently, is the person who has learned from her past and is prepared to take on her future!

Remember, that you are always on a path going somewhere new, to potentially do something amazing. You just have to believe in yourself and continue to strive towards greatness.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.”

N. R. Narayana Murthy

Kristina

Holiday Shopping

“Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything.”

Proverbs 11:24

 

I live in Maryland, and just last week it was 77 degrees outside, but I’m now walking through stores filled with wrapping paper, Christmas ornaments, and tree displays. My son has already started yelling, “Mommy, come see this toy,” every other commercial and planning out his Christmas list. I feel as if, I have missed something; like an entire month has escaped me. In November, I am usually half way through my Christmas shopping, but all that nice weather kept me standing still. Moving forward, Christmas is on the way and holiday shopping is upon us. Weather we are ready to accept it or not, let’s get it done, and do it well enough that it does not leave our wallets hurting in January.

Despite, the weather throwing me off a little, I am still excited and ready to get a Christmas shopping completed. I love Christmas shopping and I enjoy making it as painless as I possibly can. For those of you who dread holiday shopping, here are some holiday survival tips to try to hold on to what is in your purse throughout the holidays.

1. Stores vs. Online

I love going to the mall, but it’s not for everyone and there are often some great sales online. If you hate crowds, sifting through racks, or searching for parks; online shopping is best for you. Some great online sites are:

Amazon             Toys R Us               Target.com

6pm.com           Walmart.com

2. Set a Budget

Be true and honest with yourself. Before you even attempt your budget, pay all your bills; pay your current month first and average out the next month’s bills until after the holidays. Be sure to round bills up a little and add in emergency money.

3. Create a List

Make a realistic shopping list, but don’t over-do it. I used to give gifts to everyone, and their kids. I frequently gave gifts to people who never gave me or my son a gift. It quickly made Christmas very costly. Also, talk to your children and determine the things that they really want, over the things they just see and blurt out. Use those things to create yourself a more comprehensive list.

4. Use Cash

Don’t drag your holiday spending on for the next six months to a year by using credit cards. Pay cash as much as possible and get your shopping completed one time and one time only.

5. Start Now

It is never too early to start Christmas shopping. Do not wait until two weeks prior to Christmas, to start shopping. All the sales will be gone, along with all of the great toys.

6. Compare Shop

Be sure to compare store prices against one another.

I hope that this information can help someone, and make the holiday shopping just a little more bearable.

 

Kristina- Kristopher’s Mommy