I’ve being writing on Monumental Moms for a year and a half now, and I’ve managed to write about everything except one of the main challenges for me as a mother, wife, and woman. I’ve avoided writing about this topic, because I felt that it was unfair to other parties involved. It is one thing to write about difficulties or suggestions for my son who I birthed, or my husband who I married, because it doesn’t impact any others besides me and them. When it comes to be a stepparent, I tread very lightly, because that involves children that are not just my own and other adults. I would never want to offend or hurt anyone. I have also never wanted for either of my stepchildren to read something and feel troubled by it, so I have carefully tiptoed around it.
This week, it has been heavy on my heart to write something though. Why? Well, because most stepmoms feel alone. We feel like we are fighting for rights to exist in families that under-appreciate us and can often misuse us. Most mornings on my way to work, I talk to a friend who is also a wife and a stepmom, and we laugh about how we need a support group or some type of 12 step program. It’s a joke that’s loaded with so much truth. So, today; I decided to start my journey into peacefully and carefully walking into occasionally blogging about being a step mom as well as a biological Mom. I know there are those moms who believe that there is no difference between the two, and to them I say: lucky you. For most of us there is a difference. The difference is not a terrible thing, but a natural reality. A lot like Oranges and Tangerines, we enjoy the sweetness of each of them and they appear to be alike, but are nonetheless different.
I will be honest and say that I’m nervous, because I fear the judgement. Where I adore being a mom and rave about it in every post that I write, being a stepmom is a dissimilar experience for me. It’s often times full of stress and anxiety. I once believed that It was just me and my family, that all other blended families, somehow blended easier. To any mom struggling, know that they don’t. It takes both work and time, and still may never be perfect. With my introduction into this topic of step parenting today, I want to provide a few ways to cope and that I plan to discuss in further detail over time.
- Remember that “You” matter too
- Pray ALOT
- Find some positive outlets for yourself
- Don’t take it personal all the time
- Confide in a trustworthy friend
- Cut yourself some slack
No one ever said it would be easy, but there is nothing that us Moms and/or Step-Moms can’t overcome!
Kristina – The Stepmom