Motivational Monday

“With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”
Isaiah 12:3

As wives, mothers, and women who take on many other roles, we spend a great deal of time worried about the love ones around us; especially our children. The responsibility of raising successful adults is a great one and adds an enormous amount of stress into the lives of many women daily. There are many of us who believe that there is some secret, or pre-defined way to raise children, or even mange families, but the truth is that there is not just one. It’s actually many different ways. How is this possible? Well, because all women are different, and require different things to make them happy and that’s the one true proven way to assist at creating a future full of fulfilled and functional adults.

Happy Mother’s, wives, and women are who help to make happy households. They help build the confidence of their children, by being such great examples of strength and trust themselves. Children learn the best by imitation, and who do they learn to imitate first and see the most? Their Moms! Ladies, set the standard, and be sure to pour enough sunshine in yourselves on a daily basis to be able to give without completely depleting. You deserve to be happy too Ladies!

“Looking good and feeling good go hand in hand. If you have a healthy lifestyle, your diet and nutrition are set, and you’re working out, you’re going to feel good.”

Jason Statham

– Kristina

 

 

 

Did You Say Breast Cancer?

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October is breast cancer awareness month and for those of us that have been affected by breast cancer one way or another know just how horrible and devastating this disease really is. For those who don’t know, my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 Triple Negative breast cancer in June of 2015. Triple Negative breast cancer is very aggressive and more prevalent in women of color. My mother lost her battle with this horrible disease on January 5, 2016. Cancer not only takes a toll on the individual but on the family members and caregivers as well. As caregivers you often feel so helpless and want nothing more but to take the pain away from your loved one. Thankfully, my sister and I were able to take turns taking my mother to her appointments and to and from chemo. As caregivers, it’s important to take care of yourself. I’ve compiled some tips below that may be helpful  for caregivers.

1. Take care of yourself. Trust me I know how ugly this disease is and it takes an emotional and physical toll on all involved. My sister and I have spent countless hours in the hospital, but it’s important to take breaks. Even if you take a couple of hours away from the hospital to recharge.

2. Talk out your pain and frustration. It helps to have a listening ear when going through something like dealing with a loved one with cancer. Sometimes you just need to let it all out.

3. It’s ok to cry. Cancer is devastating and to watch your loved one deal with the effects of chemo and cancer is heartbreaking. Sometimes a good cry helps you feel better.

4. It’s normal to be angry. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for being angry! Anger is an emotion just like sadness. There will be times when you become so angry that this happened to your mother, father, sister, etc.

5. Just like death, cancer comes with a wave of emotions from devastation, anger, sadness, resentment, etc. It’s ok to allow yourself to feel those emotions because it’s a part of the process. If you try to numb the pain it doesn’t go away. These emotions will hit you when you least expect it.

6. Don’t let anyone steal your hope! It’s ok to have hope. Even in the most dire situations such as my mother being on life support we still had a little twinge of hope. Hope gives you a reason to get up every day and to keep fighting. Hope is a defense mechanism, if you don’t have it then you might as well give up.

7. Have faith. It’s easy to have faith until life knocks the wind out of you! People always say have faith that things will work out! Well let me tell you that regardless of your religion or spiritual beliefs it will be tested when dealing with cancer.

8. Ask plenty of questions. It’s important that you fully understand what’s happening. If you need to take notes especially at doctors appointments.

Kristle~Sheri’s Daughter

Stepping Out As Stepmom

I’ve being writing on Monumental Moms for a year and a half now, and I’ve managed to write about everything except one of the main challenges for me as a mother, wife, and woman. I’ve avoided writing about this topic, because I felt that it was unfair to other parties involved. It is one thing to write about difficulties or suggestions for my son who I birthed, or my husband who I married, because it doesn’t impact any others besides me and them. When it comes to be a stepparent, I tread very lightly, because that involves children that are not just my own and other adults. I would never want to offend or hurt anyone. I have also never wanted for either of my stepchildren to read something and feel troubled by it, so I have carefully tiptoed around it. 

This week, it has been heavy on my heart to write something though. Why? Well, because most stepmoms feel alone. We feel like we are fighting for rights to exist in  families that under-appreciate us and can often misuse us. Most mornings on my way to work, I talk to a friend who is also a wife and a stepmom, and we laugh about how we need a support group or some type of 12 step program. It’s a joke that’s loaded with so much truth. So, today; I decided to start my journey into peacefully and carefully walking into occasionally blogging about being a step mom as well as a biological Mom. I know there are those moms who believe that there is no difference between the two, and to them I say: lucky you. For most of us there is a difference. The difference is not a terrible thing, but a natural reality. A lot like Oranges and Tangerines, we enjoy the sweetness of each of them and they appear to be alike, but are nonetheless different.

I will be honest and say that I’m nervous, because I fear the judgement. Where I adore being a mom and rave about it in every post that I write, being a stepmom is a dissimilar experience for me. It’s often times full of stress and anxiety. I once believed that It was just me and my family, that all other blended families, somehow blended easier. To any mom struggling, know that they don’t. It takes both work and time, and still may never be perfect. With my introduction into this topic of step parenting today, I want to provide a few ways to cope and that I plan to discuss in further detail over time.  

  1. Remember that “You” matter too
  2. Pray ALOT
  3. Find some positive outlets for yourself
  4. Don’t take it personal all the time
  5. Confide in a trustworthy friend
  6. Cut yourself some slack

No one ever said it would be easy, but there is nothing that us Moms and/or Step-Moms can’t overcome!

Kristina – The Stepmom

 

Motivational Monday- Make it Monumental

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“Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24)

Guess what today is…… it’s Monday!!!! No matter where you live, run and hide, or what you do; we all have to face the start of the week. Each and every Monday, the week is going to restart, that is just how the week works and therefore, how our lives are run. It is however, up to us to decide how we are going to deal with, each week when it arrives. I see people drag themselves into work every Monday, and dread it. They appear to hate work, and everything else that comes along with the start of a new week. I am sure that if Monday was a person, she/he would be depressed with all of the negativity that she/he receives! Monday’s aren’t that bad. Plenty of great things can happen on Monday’s, we just have to create the atmosphere for it to manifest its self. Here are a few suggestions for making Monday’s great again:

1. Pray as soon as you wake up! Prayer absolutely changes things.
2. Get a workout in. Start your week off right, by taking care of you!
3. Set a goal for the week and start working on it today!!!
4. Ban all negative thoughts!! Negative thoughts do you absolutely no good!

Monday, is like birthdays. It’s the birth of great new possibilities every week. We just have to decide if we want to take them or not. This week, I urge everyone to decide to make Monday’s great again!

“Success is to wake up each morning and consciously decide that today will be the best day of your life.”

Ken Poirot

– Kristina

Don’t Judg Me

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As parents, we all know that children can go from 0-10 in a matter of seconds. These kids have a way of pushing your patience and bringing out the worst in you by testing your limits, especially while in public! Kodie is definitely no exception to this; I think that he waits until we are in public to try me! One day I was putting him in his car seat and he was talking back, so I yelled at him. When I turned around my neighbor was standing across the street with his dog and I could feel his gaze and judgment! I waived and kept it moving, LOL.

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In my opinion, the people that are the most judgmental are the ones who are not in the same situation as you. The older people who are all judgmental haven’t raised kids in decades and maybe they have forgotten how frustrating the whole process can be. The people without children just don’t have a clue and think that their kids will either be perfect little angels or they have the misguided belief that they will be in control of the tantrums, outbursts, and the screaming. You can tell when you are in the company of other parent’s because they barely even look at you when you are disciplining your child in public. In closing, don’t let other people’s judgments and opinion’s impact you. If people are really concerned then they can offer to help you instead of judging you and your parenting tactics.
-Kristle (Kodie’s Mommy)

Momma’s Boys

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Hi, My name is Kristina and My son is a Momma’s Boy. Kristopher, is three years old and loves me more than anything else on this earth and the feelings are very mutual. He wakes up in the morning and immediately calls for me. If my husbands goes to him first, he will ask for Mommy in a matter of seconds. In the mornings when I drop him off to school, we have to share at least 5 kisses, 5 hugs, a secret and, and say I love you at least 3 times. He falls to sleep the best when he is able to lay directly on my skin and typically likes for me to be around him the majority of the time. With out question my son is a Momma’s Boy and I have absolutely no issue with it.

Despite popular belief, that in no way makes him weak, girly, or too attached to function on his own. The stereotype of a “Momma’s Boy,” is crazy to me. My son is one of the most sociable kids in his preschool class. His teachers have complimented him on how mature he is for a three year old (shares well, rarely throw tantrums, and follows directions well). He goes to playgrounds and plays with kids his age, younger and older without any issues. After dinner he places his own plate in the sink, and brushes his own teeth. He is also a pretty rough little guy, daring and adventurous. Where he is attached and loves mom’s presence, he is still extremely independent. Kristopher, enjoys discovering, fixing, and accomplishing things on his own.

I absolutely hate the stereotypes and negative talk about “Momma’sBoys.” How often do we hear negative things when people say…. Awwwwww, she’s a “Daddy’s Girl?” The answer is never! Society just eats that up. It’s great to be a “Daddy’s Girl, but bad to be a “Momma’s Boy.” I decided to create a list of a few great things about “Momma’s Boys!

1. They are gentlemen: My three year old loves to rush and open doors for me, and even to try to pull my chair out. He’s going to be a great husband in the future.

2. Empathic: He’s in tune with my moods. He knows before anyone else when I’m happy, or sad. “Momma’s Boys,” learn quickly to read emotions, because they watch their moms so closely.

3. Loving: “Momma’s Boys,” can’t help but to be loving people. They spend so much time loving their moms that they are just full of extra love.

4. Respect Women: Being raised by a woman, they often have great respect for them. My son believes that I can do anything. The pride I see when he looks at me makes my heart melt.

5. Gentle with Girls: I’ve noticed that as rough as my son can get, when he’s playing with little girls his size, he’s careful not to knock them over or run into them too hard or often.

6. Super Happy: Just as any other kid is, “Momma’s Boys,” are just as happy. Being a “Momma’s Boy,” doesn’t make them any less happy!

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I hope that this blog helps mothers of “Momma’s Boys” feel a little more comfortable in raising their sons. Ignore the myths and opinions of others and keep right on loving your son with everything that you have inside of you.

Kristina – Kristopher’s Mommy