People pleasing is one of the fastest ways to become unhappy!
As a woman it’s important to learn how to be assertive, if not, people will walk all over you. This is especially important when you become a mother because it’s not about you anymore, it’s about your child. I consider myself an advocate for my son because he can’t speak for himself. One of the hardest things that women often struggle with is saying no, but there are times when saying no is to your benefit.
Benefits of saying No….
1. It feels good!
Most of us have to do lists for days and our schedules are already crammed. Instead of stressing yourself out and over extending yourself just, simply say no, I can’t, or another word that has the same meaning LOL. It can be a little uncomfortable initially until you get the hang of it, especially if you are a people pleaser, but once you get the hang of it you’ll find that it’s easy and it feels good to not over commit yourself!
2. Sometimes you just don’t feel like it!
Believe it or not you don’t have to explain yourself. If someone wants you go somewhere or do something that you just don’t feel like doing, then it’s your right to say no. You don’t have to come up with some extravagant excuse. Think about it…what’s worse? trying to make everyone happy even at your own expense…or being honest and saying no or I don’t feel like it? If the persons gets angry, don’t worry they will get over it. If they don’t get over it, then oh well!
3. Your priorities change!
Since having my son he has become my number 1 priority. My goal is to make sure that he is grows into a well-rounded, happy, emotionally stable, secure and productive individual. Everything else is secondary. At the end of the day he didn’t ask to be here therefore; I am legally bound to him LOL.
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff!
Sometimes you realize that you just can’t do it all.
I would love to be super woman and have super energy and be able to do everything for everyone, but the reality is sometimes I can’t even see straight! Sometimes I don’t even know what day it is (LOL). Sometimes you just have to take it “one day at a time”.
5. Why bend over backwards for people who don’t go out of their way to help or be there for you?
It just doesn’t make sense! We all have those select friends who you would do anything for no matter the time of day or night. Those friendships are often reciprocated, but if you find that you are always the one who is going out of the way and others are not doing the same then it’s time to re-evaluate and say no.
6. Time is very precious you can never get it back.
It’s ok to take time for yourself, even if you have to say no to other things.