“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
Who Am I…… over the past 3 years, I’ve asked myself that more than I ever did in my teens and 20’s. I went from being this on-the-go, nonstop woman/friend, to a wife and mother that rarely has time to read a book or call up a friend and talk. I decided to start my blog journey with this post, because it was one of my first personal hurdles as a new mom. Also, I want to encourage other new moms to embrace the woman that they are right now! Why? Its simple…. the “now” you, is probably the best you that you’ve ever been!
We spend a number of years just being us, and one day we get pregnant and render our bodies over to a small being that we’ve never met, yet somehow already love. Then, nine months later, we give birth to the greatest gift ever. But, what you don’t realize is how much YOU will change. Your priorities are immediately altered, and your wants and needs suddenly take an unexpected turn. You have evolved without even planning it. Long nights at the club are now replaced with cuddling, reading books, cleaning and creating bedtime schedules. Your afternoons of chatting on the phone for hours are filled with learning time, dinner and watching Mickey Mouse for the 100th time. And, for working moms like me, your days were already stolen by your career. One day, you stop and realize that you are nothing like the woman you were before. You no longer care what your favorite star wore to her last concert or whose dating whom. And, you rarely have time to get all dolled up every morning. You are offically MOM!
This transformation happens quickly and is not easy. For a while I mourned her; the woman I had lost. I looked at old pictures and envied the well put together woman with perfect hair and bright eyes that looked as if she never missed a night of sleep. Yet, strangely, I mourned her more for others than for myself. I mourned her for those around me. The ones that consistently hinted at how much I had changed. The ones that I no longer had time to reach out to like I used to. The ones that could not understand the limited time that I now had. The ones that I cancelled outings with and was too tired to hit the mall with. The ones who hadn’t fallen for the new woman that I was. It hurt, and I couldn’t believe that one little person could create so much change. But, with time, I began to love her! All new moms are entitled to this mourning period, but please keep it brief!
Here’s the upside of all of this…… I’m (you’re) different, and that’s a good thing. Nothing that evolves stays the same. Growth is change. If you have experienced this too, more than likely you have stepped out of mediocrity and into phenomenal! As a new mom, I have learned how to better organize my life, prioritize myself, and even budget my money better. I’m happier and more settled into life. I’ve finally slowed down, and I no longer worry about who accepts me and who doesn’t. So now, when I wonder who I am, I smile because I know that I’m better than I’ve ever been.
Here’s a few tips for any new moms struggling with the new them:
Accept that you are different and embrace it. The harder you fight it, the more difficult it will become for you to settle into the new you.
Respect that there is a balance to everything, including motherhood. You can’t be the available person all of the time. You have to learn to prioritize and balance your obligations so that you can live peacefully.
Understand that you aren’t going to be able to do things the same way that you have before. Your schedule, surroundings, and even friends may change. Be open to new experiences, thinking processes, and friendships.
Overall, never doubt who you are, or resist the positive changes that are occurring in your life. You are exactly who you are supposed to be right now, and these (you) changes are needed to help you to be the greatest you possible. Embrace the change and love the new you! Thanks for reading!!!
Kisses and Smiles
Kristopher’s Mom (Kristina)
“I’ve found my balance….. I’m not losing myself in motherhood….. I’m redefining myself. I may not be exactly who I used to be, but be that’s OK. I’ve grown and become a better version of myself.”
-Knoxville Moms blog
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” -Osho